Tuesday, December 18, 2007

In the Driver's Seat-EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE!

I recently learned how to drive. It’s a long story how a 25 year old girl in this day and age couldn’t drive, but basically, I just never did it. As a young adult living in New York, I was never so motivated, utilizing public transportation and my sister as a chauffer whenever necessary. Then I left the city.

Atlanta is not the best place to live when you are a non-driver. There are no subways and buses traversing the entire city, there are occasional buses and trains that do not exactly take you from point A to point B. As someone who hates to ask for help, begging rides from my new friends was like pulling my own teeth. Relying on the kindness of my friends, neighbors, and co-workers, all practically strangers, was a difficult and complicated experience. I started walking to work, organizing my schedule around other people so they would not have to go out of their way for me. I once commented to a friend that I was running out of toilet paper, and an hour later her mother called. “I’m coming to pick you up,” she said sternly. “Next time you’d better call me.”

Despite the incredible benevolence of the people around me, I constantly felt guilty. Guilt warred with fear and uncertainty over driving, but I knew that I had to move past it. I could not live this way any more. I studied harder than I ever had (if only I had applied myself like that in high school!), got my permit, and called the driving school. It was time to drive.

Chris picked me up at work and had me sit in the driver’s seat. He reviewed gas pedal and brake pedal, then directed me to drive. I held the steering wheel in a death grip and inched forward. A car appeared on the road and I slammed on the brakes. “Um, okay,” the instructor said patiently. “Let’s start this over. Relax.” Week after week, we practiced, driving all over the city. Some days were good, other days I reverted back to being afraid of the other cars on the road, but little by little, I became a driver. I drove on the highway, on winding side roads, and parked again and again in empty parking lots. I secretly made an appointment for my license test, sure that I would fail. Chris took me to the DMV on a bright, sunny day in July, five months after I had first slid into the driver’s seat. My tester was an older gentleman, not very chatty, which did nothing to calm my butterflies. I’m extra chatty when I’m nervous, and his grunts in response to my comments about his sweater, the weather, and Atlanta traffic made me more anxious. But then, about twenty minutes later, we pulled into the parking lot at the DMV and he scribbled on his notepad. “Get more confident, and you’ll be fine,” he said, with a hint of a smile. I was confused. “Huh? I passed?”
“Yes, you passed. You did a nice job.”
The tester wished me luck and left the car. I sat there, stunned. Then I called my mother.
“Hi, Mom,” I could barely contain my excitement. “Can I borrow your car?”

Six months later, I have a whole new world open to me. I can visit the high school during lunch and see the kids I work with. Go to the supermarket whenever I want. Run errands. Go to the drive-thru window at Starbucks. Mundane things I had only dreamed of but had never thought could ever be a reality. More importantly, I am trying to repay the kindness that others showed me by using my car. I volunteer to give people rides, grocery shop for individuals who are sick, and try to use my driving as a gift not just for myself, but for others.

5 comments:

Diana said...

Can you pick up some eggs for me on your way home from work?

Prince Hamilton said...

I learnt how to drive at 30. I had never driven before in Africa. A month later I picked up a job with a moving company and we had to drive to Rhodes Island. When we reached there we were so scared to drive back that the company asked us to abandon the truck that way and ride Greyhound back to Atlanta. God really loves me.

Hinda said...

I LOVE THIS BLOG!

Anonymous said...

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Juliazun said...

I honestly think we may be kindred spirits - driving was a huge issue for me too. I got my license at age 16 because my parents forced me too. It took me 3 times to pass (not the written part; I passed that right away). I moved to NYC as soon as I could and simply never drove. It wasn't until I was almost 40 and preparing to move to the middle of nowhere in rural Colorado that I realized I better get this "problem" straightened out. At least you conquered it at a respectable age. :)